envisioned

"envisioned"

she feels apart from all of it somehow.
engulfed, entwined, maybe even flattened beneath its weight.
the strength and layers of it holds her.
it forces her down, under where she wants to be.
overnight it changes.
on a whim it changes.
she cannot control how it embraces her.
feelings so vast she is consumed by herself.
and yet completely unable to verbalise it to any other.
it whirrs within her brain.
behind her eyes she sees it all as something completely out of her grasp.
her peripheral vision is shifted.
turned on its own axis.
up becomes under and down is now topside.
she wishes it better, knows it will not, begs it back

sunday scribblings - worry

"worry" for sunday scribblings

worry

her sister is a worrier. she sits at home and frets over the slightest thing. how the weather will affect her best friend's son's baseball game. or what mrs smith's scan results are. or will there be traffic on the way to the beach house in three months' time. will the kids do well with their exams. will little billie find his way to the supermarket or get hit by a bus. some of these things are out of her hands. just a minute of concern but not hours and hours of fretting and tedious worrisome pacing. at some point her sister will phone and reveal that all went well. the kids are doing fine, mrs smith's scan shows a smudge but the doctor is confident it will be fine after a little surgery. there are no bus accidents. a plane does not fall on her house, this week.
the thing about her sister is that at least she tells everyone she worries. she shares the details, she does it aloud. she does not keep it inside her heart. she does not have a heavy heart. because as she worries, she also prays. she thinks her sister should worry less and rely on the prayers more. but she loves her sister and so she allowes her sister this one little foible. this small thing, that really isn't so minute at times.
but she loves her sister, and she realises that so long as her sister is there to worry and fret and pray, then she feels safe.

sunday scribblings

been out of touch for a bit, this is late but the prompt sparked a thought (or two).

sunday scribblings "disconnected"

disconnected

she reached into her purse and fumbled around for her phone. the constant texts were polite, apologetic, and annoying at the same time. the turned the alerts off and dropped the phone back into her bag. looking around, she realised she was stood in the middle of the sidewalk, other pedestrians making a gully around her immovable figure. she slung the bag back over her shoulder and headed towards the coffee shop. hopefully the presence of her good friends would bring back some reality into her life. make her feel more connected to the rest of the world. ever since she shut the door, she needed them even more.

the view

jumbled jangled
flipped inside out
right side in
lines blurred
then veered to the left
and right
around the bend
never the same way twice
or once
peering from inside out
to the outside in

sunday scribblings (on a monday)

bit late posting this...and a slightly less than stellar attempt at rhyme ;)

sunday scribblings

"follow"
follow the eyes
follow the heart
follow knowledge
don't stand apart

follow directions
follow behind
follow the footsteps
know your own mind

follow the path
follow the way
follow uphill
just don't go astray

unconscious mutterings week 325

for unconscious mutterings week 325

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Lease :: on life, to own
   
2. Dead :: is dead, wood, head
   
3. Removed :: my heart
   
4. Broke :: empty, void, my
   
5. Lips :: like sugar
   
6. Flight :: of the angels
   
7. Three hours :: the time i wish i had to sleep longer
   
8. Give :: and take, away
   
9. Technical :: difficulties, service, geeks
   
10. Hurry :: come up
    

"she moves"

he leaves
and she feels lost
unknowing and uncaring
an emptiness surrounds her heart
her brain is dull and lifeless
she moves forward
hour by hour
day by day
week by week
sloshing slowly over the wetness
the fractured part of her heart torn
pushed aside daily
unmending
covered with dark fabric
exposed
raw
static

sunday scribbles

for a prompt, scary, for sunday scribblings

"scared"
her eyes are everywhere at once
she does it well, keeps them organised
stops to watch the crocodiles
looks away and then back
calls to him
then realises
he is gone, not to be seen
where has he gone
they rush to and fro
search, ask, call, yell, pray
everyone searches
time stops
where has he gone?
is he hiding?
she holds her breath
heart pounds eyes probe
the terror
the horrible feeling of uselessness
time passes
she stops and hears news
he is fine
safe sound well
he has wandered
far
found by a family
he is good
he shows them the paper
numbers for his family
"hi daddy"
he returns to mom
she cries
he was not scared
much
she was
and is thankful for that wonderful family
and the wonderful people who helped

go on

"GO ON"

go today, go tomorrow, but just go
make my world a part of yours
wish it true
be it true
flash forward
protect your right to speak
say what you think
but keep your balance

sunday scribblings

for sunday scribblings, "where do YOU come from"
*this seemed appropriate this week, so for my nan, may god watch over and keep her*

those who came before her
she comes from the strength of them
that group of sturdy women
long lives and long memories
happiness and sadness
she longs to be like her nan
remembering the good
not the bad
making a smile
or a slymischievous grin
a wink
nimble hands up through her 101st year
she moves to a faster beat now
in the light watching over all of us